covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Can Purell be used as lube?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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