12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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