It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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