just tell him i said nine months
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
