Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
