Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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