I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
