after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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