so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
