You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
