I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
