He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I know her cup size but not her name....
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
