Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
