who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
