Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
