Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
