I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
