You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
