what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
