THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
When are your genitals available?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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