he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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