i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
