i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
