Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
