Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
