Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
