this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
