I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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