I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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