I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
