I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
