just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i dont even know how to be here
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
