Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
