How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
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