she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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