Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
