Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
