they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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