I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
