Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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