We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
