i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
