Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Randomize
