why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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