My hand turned me down
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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