I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
