She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
