Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
