just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you traded sex for a burrito?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Randomize
