How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
