SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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