his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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