Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
