you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
